I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
