Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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