If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
