pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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