I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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