Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
