I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
