well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
