Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
