remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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