don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
