Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
