Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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