Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
