youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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