I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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