highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We need to get me chipped asap
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
