Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize