her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
