If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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