we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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