Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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