can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
