I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize