Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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