Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
