your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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