There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
