the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
