i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
