i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize