So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
