I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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