She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
