I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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