break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Couch. On fire.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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