Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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