If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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