It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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