I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
