Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize