I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
