Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize