I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
