I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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