Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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