There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
