6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
