i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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