My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize