What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Im part way to drunk.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
