it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize