This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Two words: blizzard sex
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
