If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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