Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
