do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
