Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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