They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
