let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
