Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
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