Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
